52. [WISE WOMAN] WITH MALIN & A LIFE UPDATE FROM ME - THE POWER OF SLOWING DOWN
My instagram followers and email list would know that my son was very ill recently. I take a few moments at the beginning of this episode to give a live update on our lives and my own soul evolution.
I felt that Malin's episode would be the perfect compliment to last weeks episode with my counselor, Stephen Andrew, in light of my recent life events.
The medicine of slowing down and leading with love is front and center for me right now. And probably you too!
Malin is a Sacred Birth Worker, Soul Therapist and Women's Circle Facilitator from Sweden.
She is an admirer of the female body, the moon and the stars. A nature lover.
She thinks that the female body is a temple to worship and she never gets tired of hearing someone telling the story of what they have felt in this lifetime.
Everyone has a story that will bring you to your knees, probably crying (at least Malin will).
One of her favorite quotes of all time is "'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return".
Since discovering Human Design and realizing that she is a Projector - that needs rest, more than others. She has embraced this side of herself.
The resting, the waiting, the void of nothing. Like the year has its seasons, so you have them too.
There is room for every season within oneself. You do not always have too bloom. It is ok to take a step back and rest.
She also loves the winter because of its darkness. Without the darkness you can't see the light.
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Music The Ancients (feat. Loga Ramin Torkian) by Azam Ali
Disclaimer:
The information and resources provided by me are not intended to constitute or replace medical or midwifery advice or a Mother’s intuition. Instead, all information provided is intended for education purposes only. My advice is not to be seen as medical diagnosis or to treat any medical illness or condition of Mother or baby/fetus.
AI generated transcript below will have errors
Emily: I felt the need to pop in here and give a real time update on my life.
I recorded so much of season three back in October. November, December. And honestly, November feels like a distant memory.
So much has been shifting.
I spent five days alone from the solstice to the day after Christmas. Isaiah took Cian up to see his grandparents and I just relished in this sacred slowness. I did self pleasure rituals and just, you know, simply operating on my own inner clock.
Those small joys of going to bed and waking on my own time to be able to leave my journal and pen laying next to me for me to grab and write as inspiration struck.
Emily: Versus that fear that a little toddler.
Emily: Crazy kid is going to come and like rip up my paper and draw all my white walls.
Oh, it was such a breath of life for me and the most time that I've spent alone since prior to becoming pregnant in 2022.
The older I get, the more I crave and embrace solitude and slowness. You know, I spent my twenties chasing any sense of the word intimacy and connection with that dread and a loathing of loneliness.
And I did work like I did so much inner work to befriend loneliness. And as I travel nursed across the states in my 30s, I fell deeply in love with myself.
And in 2020, there was a major explosion of self love for me. And that was when I was about 35. Yeah.
And then I became pregnant the year after that, leaving just this very short time to be in that sacred silence and slowness with myself and really cherishing and loving that time.
So this chunk of time between the solstice and Christmas, it felt like major medicine for me. I was also in my luteal autumn phase. And then I had this really easy, beautiful bleed with the new moon as we welcomed the new year.
And then boom, like crazy intense, I became so sick. It was January 4th, I just was hit with this fever.
And I'm telling you, that particular illness felt like spiritual warfare. Like it took me out and I was so viscerally painful. Like my eyes hurt every. It felt like my bones hurt.
It was just, it was awful. I had to cancel the following two weeks of my life and my business endeavors because then Kian also got sick on January 13th.
So then I rolled right into another luteal phase and bleed right into my precious boy getting sick again on January 30th.
And if you follow me on Instagram, you would know that he was very, very ill.
And if you're on my email list, you would have Received an email regarding the details of his illness.
He was in a fever portal for a total of seven days.
He had complex febrile seizures.
The second seizure that he had, his airway closed off and he couldn't breathe.
I was helpless to save him, you know, beyond inserting a Tylenol suppository, calling EMS and putting ice packs over his shaking little body.
I had to work so hard not to leave my body.
And I did actually leave my body a couple of times. But I called it back so that I could be present for him.
It was the most traumatic experience of my life.
I was watching him die, and there was nothing that I could do to save him.
If that seizure had not stopped when it did, my entire world would have ceased to exist.
The absolute gratitude and relief that I felt when he came back to me is ineffable. There are no words to describe.
I touched that place of pain that no parent should ever have to, but they do.
They do.
And this experience expanded me in ways I have yet to understand.
It has been so healing for his father and I, our relationship, it has exponentially increased the love and the harmony in our home.
Emily: I don't talk about it much publicly.
Emily: But for those that don't know, Kian's father and I, we. We have not been together for a long time. We live together and we co parent. And it's been the number one most draining part of my life.
And I'm going to tell you, Just before Kian began to have his first seizure, I was dreaming. Very lucidly.
I dreamt that Isaiah was telling me that he loved me.
And at first I recoiled and I wasn't ready to receive it. But then he leaned in again, looking me right in the eyes, right into my soul, and he said it again.
He said that he loved me.
And I allowed it in.
Probably not even a minute after that, I was woken, startled awake, by Isaiah bounding up the stairs, yelling that Kian was having a seizure.
You see, Kian and I were both in an altered state of consciousness in those moments. And I believe that he sacrificed himself to call us into attention.
Deep, soulful attention.
I'm not saying that Isaiah and I need to get back together in, like, an intimate, romantic way, but we must put love first for our son.
It is our mission on this planet.
If you listened to last week's episode, and I so hope that you did, and if you didn't, please, please, please, please go back and listen to our counselor. I interviewed our counselor, Stephen Andrew.
And if you listened you would know that the absolute most important thing, like why we are here on this planet, is to love. Well, the second seizure that Kian had, I also had a lucid dream just before, just before I woke up to him having this insane seizure that closed off his airway.
I dreamt that I reached over and I felt his head and the fever was gone. And I just had this sense of like total relief in my body that he was okay.
Now, perhaps he was sending me a message that he would be okay, but I needed to be shocked into an alternate reality first.
I know without a doubt that my little boy claimed his name Kian Asher because he is in fact ancient. Blessings and happiness.
Kian means ancient and Asher means happy and blessed.
He came here to teach me how to love well, and he is the most precious gift that I have ever received.
In the time of his fever portal, one of my free birthing clients manifested her absolute dream birth experience.
And she felt comfortable enough going at it without me, which is the ultimate compliment to the work that I do.
However sad I was that I wasn't there to witness such a beautiful, undisturbed mother led birth, I had to cancel and reschedule yet another two weeks of my life and my business.
It has been both a disorienting and clarifying start to the year for me.
I now feel that deep call to honor slowness as we approach the end of winter here in Maine and the beginning of spring.
I won't be attending any more births until late May, early June. And I'm contemplating offering a closed, deeply intimate women's circle, maybe late March, April, early May.
I've also been called to attend Wapio's holistic midwifery and birthkeeping year long mentorship. And it is a very intensive training. So I'm giving myself lots of space to receive and absorb that information.
I know there are many big and beautiful moments on the horizon, but first, some slowdown and rest are necessary.
So on that note, I am releasing a absolutely beautiful special episode that I did with my soul sister all the way over in Sweden, all about this slowing down.
Her name is Malin and I really hope that you enjoy and thank you for listening and thank you to everyone who supported us and reached out over this insane journey and experience that we had here with our little boy.
I really felt the love. I felt it so deeply.
Not only was I nourished with like, food, my, my community brought us food, but just the words and, you know, the space that was held. So I am deeply appreciative and we are all on the mend.
We are all doing better. And again, the harmony in our home is palpable. And I'm just so grateful.
So let's drop into today's episode.
Emily: Welcome, Malin, to my podcast. I am so happy to see your beautiful face. You make me smile. I just. I love you so much. You are literally a sister of mine on the other side of the world.
And I'm so grateful for this mentorship that we both did and like our bonds and just watching each other grow.
Last time you and I connected, we were talking about the transformation that you really made since the beginning of the podcast. Like, you even look totally different.
And I. I meant to get you on the podcast sooner, but you know.
Emily: Everything in divine time.
Emily: And I love what you want to talk about today. It's such an important and valuable resource that we all can tap into at any time. So welcome. Welcome.
Malin: Thank you. So happy to be here.
Emily: I want to read your bio that you emailed to me, and I think it's so sweet because I can just hear you reading it and writing it and saying it. Because Swedish is your first language, right?
Yes, yes. But you are so graciously using your second language here with us. But I just. I just love the way you say things.
So here it goes. Malin is a secret birth worker, a soul therapist and women's circle facilitator from Sweden.
She is an admirer of the female body, the moon and the stars, a nature lover.
She thinks that the female body is.
Emily: A temple to worship.
Emily: And she never gets tired of hearing someone tell the story of what they have felt in this lifetime.
Everyone has a story that will bring you to your knees. Probably crying. Or at least Malin will.
One of her greatest quotes of all time is, the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.
Since discovering human design and realizing that she is a projector that needs rest more than others, she has embraced this side of herself. The resting, the waiting, the void of nothing.
Like the year has its seasons, so you too have them. There is room for every season within oneself. You do not always have to bloom. It is okay to take a step back and rest.
She also loves the winter because of its darkness. Without the darkness, you can't see the light.
Yes.
And so we are here today to talk about this season of darkness. I'm sure when this is released, it's going to be in the middle of the winter. So this is perfect.
We're recording now. It's November 13th, but yeah, just this element of.
Of going into the void, of going into the darkness, of doing nothing, of resting and not, you know, not feeling guilty about that. Releasing this, have to, must do, but really surrendering to rest and all the medicine that comes with that.
It's very feminine.
Malin: Yeah, it is. Yeah. I definitely. And actually, I.
You know, just when I was thinking about this conversation, I had images of the lioness come to me. You know, how they, you know, of course, she's a huntress.
She hunts definitely. You know, she brings food to the table, definitely in her family. But also you. I think everyone maybe has seen a picture or a bit of video on the lioness, just, like, lying down, resting in the shadow.
Yeah. And I feel like we. We so badly need that, too, as humans.
Like, definitely we can go out there and do our thing and, you know, just do it. You know, we're very good at that.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: We are very good at progress and making things and.
Yeah. But we definitely need to just, like, stop for a moment, take it all in, maybe let a lot of stuff go also, and just, like, surrender, like, to resting and to just be.
Let your body rest. And I feel often that it's so, you know, it's so common to just stay in the head and just, you know, think everything.
Like, I'm supposed to do this and this and this, and you plan and you plan and you plan, but also just. Just, like, let it go.
Let it go.
Yeah.
And for me, personally, that. That is. Or it still is, you know, something I have to learn and something I have to.
I feel like I want to be better at just surrendering and letting go, because I feel like my go to is to plan.
Emily: Me, too. Yeah.
Malin: But also, that is all that we have been taught, I think.
Emily: Right, Right.
Malin: Just, like, what are you on in the next few years? You know? Or like, what do you see yourself doing in five years or 10 years?
Like, how could you even imagine what's going to happen to yourself in that amount of time?
Emily: Right.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: This makes me think of Rockstar shaman Alison Charles Story.
She recently was on a podcast with her husband, and she shared this bit of medicine that was shared with her.
And it's the simple phrase of it's already solved.
And to me, oh, my goodness. I mean, I, like, instantly had to put that as, like, my phone screensaver. It's already solved, but there's just such peace and a sense of rest that comes with that.
And of course, it doesn't mean that, you know, we don't work, but just that that knowing it's already solved is like. I feel like that's, like, the key into the lock of being able to rest, like, truly and fully.
Mind, body, heart, soul.
Malin: Yeah, definitely. I really like that phrase.
Emily: So I'm curious, Malin, you mentioned in your bio about noticing that you're finding out that you're a projector and then finding out that projectors need more rest. And it's interesting, too, that you live in Sweden, where you have this very long, dark period, winter.
But I'd like to hear just a little bit more about your personal journey to discovering this and, like, what it's been like for you to say yes to resting and.
And how that's, I don't know, changed you or shifted things for you.
Malin: Yeah, I think when I first, like, heard of human design and finding out that I was a projector and what that, like, meant, the first. I think the first thing I learned was that projectors are like a bird.
They have, like, this other view of stuff, like, and, you know, like a map.
I see it as a map.
Or like, you sit in a tree like a bird, and you just have the overview of everything.
And also it was that we are very effective when we are working.
And also that projectors aren't made, like. I don't know how to put that in a better word, but we aren't made to work, like, eight hours a day because we need more rest.
We need more.
Yeah. Just time to be with ourselves.
And when I heard that and when I learned that, I was just, oh, okay, so I'm not weird then, you know, I was just like, oh, it was so nice to have, like, a piece of myself described by something like, you know, from outside of me, like, that it described me so well.
And I think that I have been struggling a lot with rest, like, through life.
You know, like, most of us, we want to be good girls and make a lot of stuff and have very, like, high points of everything.
Yeah.
And I feel like, yeah, it was just such a relief for me, I think, to hear that, that it. It's like, oh, but there's more people like me who also is built this way.
And, yeah, it was just so nice. So nice to hear. Yeah.
Emily: And I mean, also, if you're not a projector. Right. Like, I mean, we still need rest, especially as women honoring the four seasons of our body, the seasons of the earth, and the seasons of our life.
Like, there are times to, you know, hit the ground running, and there are times to completely lay the frick down and rest yeah, but I'm. I mean, I'm really into this human design thing as well.
I think it's fascinating. And I'm a generator, so I'm, like, plugged in. But when I'm not feeling energetic, it's a sign that something is out of alignment, that I'm saying yes to things I need to say no to and.
And so on and so forth. Um, yeah, but I love this. I love that this gave you some confirmation of what you're. Your inner knowing was already telling you, and it was like a permission slip perhaps, to actually rest.
Malin: Yeah, definitely. And also what you just said with the, like, our own seasons, especially as women, I think.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: That you honor them and that you honored your. Your own energy.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: And that night, I think it brings more flow to life if you just let yourself rest or let you be the most energetic you can be. Like, you need both sides.
Like, you need both.
Emily: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know, much of our, like, issues in the world, right, is like, our nervous system is just completely hijacked and, like, overrun, and we're just in this low stress, low, moderate stress mode forever and ever.
And it causes inflammation in the body. It causes our mind not to be still. It prevents us from hearing our body saying, her clear yes, her clear no. Like, the body is so clear in her yes and in her no.
When our nervous system is regulated, but when it's dysregulated, when we're not taking that time to be still, to slow down, to pause, we can't hear our inner wisdom. We are less connected to our intuition, less connected to our body wisdom.
Yeah. Very sad.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Like, we as women. Oh, my God. Like, we are. We are literally oracles. Like, we hold so much wisdom within our cellular makeup. It's. It's incredible.
And for us to be living like. Like men, you know, a lot of men have that, like, get the job done, you know, like, follow through to the end. Get this.
Get the stuff done. I mean, granted, Isaiah Kian's dad is a projector, and so, like, he also does need, like, rest, and he needs time off, and he needs time to himself.
And it's kind of funny. It's frustrating for me as a generator and then as a female, I'm like, go, go, go. And he's like, I'm done for the day. I don't get it.
But, yeah, just to kind of wrap up what I was saying, it's.
It's just really important. It's very, very, very important that we, as women, honor this and not Just talk about it either, like, what are some actual tangible practices that you've put into place or boundaries that you've set up so that you are following through with this commitment to more rest.
Malin: Oh, I actually love to do things slowly and to remind myself to do things slowly. Like, if I'm in the shower and washing my hair, I'm like.
Or I used to remind myself that just massage the sculpt really slowly. Like, I don't have to, like, do this quick thing. I can just take it really slow and really, like, massage, like, the whole sculpt and just, you know, feel all the bubbles, all the foam, just.
And just do that.
And that. That is a so nice moment to take for yourself.
It's so nice.
And just I feel like being in this, like, mindful state of, you know, like, as time grows darker here in Sweden right now, I love to light candles, like, actual candles, because it takes much more time to light a candle than just put a switch on.
And, you know, it takes some time to. If you have, like, a. A few of those candles, you need time to actually light them. And I feel like that is such a nice thing to just, like, you know, set the mood.
Just take it slow.
You can, like, feel your steps on the floor. You can feel your body breathing. You know, like, all of this at the same time.
Because I feel like it can be hard maybe, to just lie flat down and rest.
And maybe that is.
It's a huge step to take if you. Always on the run.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: So I feel like. Yeah, so I feel like just taking it slow to start there.
And, like, you know, sometimes I'm. I just love to.
I don't have that anymore, but I remember, you know, when it took time to put on your computer, you know, or, like, even dialing on the Internet. Like, I just love to have that pause in between things.
It doesn't mean that you're less productive or it just means that you get, like, a few seconds, maybe half a minute to just breathe.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: Yeah. And I really love those tiny, tiny moments, like, each day to just get those.
Emily: And not only are you slowing down and creating more space, but it's like. It's just mindfulness within your day.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: That's beautiful. When you said that, I could just feel my whole nervous system slowing down.
Malin: Yeah, it's so nice. And I feel just like, you know, when you're talking to someone, you can also, you know, maybe I realized that not everyone could do this, but I can feel my heart beating in my chest, and maybe you can feel your pulse somewhere else in your body, maybe, and just, like, feel, like, your chest getting, like, oh, no, I lost a word in English.
But, like, you know, just breathing and feeling the expansion.
Emily: Yeah.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: And just feeling that. Like, just give yourself a moment to feel it.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: Like, it's so important, and it's just such a beautiful thing to give yourself. Yeah.
Emily: So what are you finding in your life? Like, what. What changes? What shifts?
Emily: What.
Emily: What are you finding as you turn.
Emily: The dial down, slow down?
Malin: I feel like I get more creative.
I get more ideas, and I feel like I know more what I want.
Like, what I want. Not what everyone else want me to do or what I think that people want me to do. Just what I want. Like, you know, those small whispers of your intuition gets louder because you give yourself actual quiet time.
And I think that is one of the best things I've ever given to myself. Ever.
Yeah. And it's. It's free.
It doesn't cost anything.
Emily: It's totally free.
Malin: Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: Do you have, like, a evening or a bedtime ritual or something that you do? Because I feel like this. Maybe I'm just projecting onto everybody else, but, like, for me, after Kian goes to bed, I might have a little juice in the tank.
I might work on something that I'm working on for a little bit.
But like many people, a lot of times I'll just plug into a show that I don't really care about, but I just, you know, let it, like, numb my brain until it's time to go to sleep.
I'm just curious because I. I've always felt guilty about that. I've always felt like you are wasting your life and time and precious, like, breaths here on earth doing this.
But I'm just, like, lit. So I'm just. I'm wondering, Malin, if you have anything that you do at the end of the night or just something that you might say to those of us that plug into Netflix at the end of the night?
Maybe like an alternative.
Malin: Yeah, but. But also, I. I also love to plug into Netflix, but I feel like I think it's important to question yourself, like, why am I doing this?
And if you are doing it because I want to wind down. I want to let go of the day that I had.
Even if it's good or even if it's a bad day, you just want to wind down and let it all go. And I feel like that is something really nice to give yourself.
And I also.
I very often think of, you know, when we Gathered around the fire.
When we lived in like, those small villages and the fire was lit and maybe the little ones had gone to bed maybe, or.
Yeah, you know, just getting that, like, everyone was back home, no one was out hunting.
And you just gather around this fire and someone is telling you a story.
And I feel that Netflix can almost give you the same thing if you think that it does.
You can see it as such a gift to even have space and time and equipment and money to have that storytelling given to you right before your bedtime.
Like you give your, you know, your kids often, maybe you sing to them or you read them a story.
I feel like the screen is just another tool to give yourself that.
So I feel like the most important maybe is to not beat yourself up because you have something that feels nice for you.
Emily: It does feel like such a treat. I look forward to it. Oh, my gosh. But, you know, also, as you were telling that or setting up that analogy, I could just feel in my heart when we used to all, like, gather, you know, we would all sit in the same room because that's where the fire was.
Emily: And it's so sad to think about.
Emily: All of the people separately in the rooms on their separate screens.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Anyway, not to dwell on that, but no, I, I appreciate, I appreciate that. That is something about you, Malin. You're the softness.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Like, softness.
That's why I think you are such a beautiful space holder. Anytime you've ever held space for me, I have just felt so loved.
So loved, so held, so nurtured. Like, I could just like curl up next to you, like, lay my head on your chest and like, just feel so loved.
Malin: Oh, you're making me cry. Oh, good. That is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Emily: The people listening don't know, but I'm going to share with them that in almost all of our circles that we would have in the mentorship, we would all be like, sharing, you know, like, deep, precious, beautiful things about our lives.
And Malin, her, her, she would always have just like tears of joy and love running down her face all the time.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Is. You're such a special human.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: That gives, that gives people permission to feel those feelings. And, and you know, I for one, like, loved that and appreciated that so much. I remember one time we were doing a one to one and I, I hadn't felt comfortable just like letting the tears flow with some of the other sisters.
But when I was with you, I was like, full permission, field open. Like, it felt so good.
Malin: Yeah. But it is good to cry.
Emily: So Good.
Malin: Yeah.
Yeah. I get so mad, you know, when some people just tell us, like. Or they are saying stuff like, oh, but it doesn't help to cry. I think it definitely helps to cry.
Emily: 100%.
Malin: Yeah. Yeah. It helps so much.
Emily: There is something that I know a lot of people struggle with, and I'm one of them, where we feel the tears welling up and maybe a couple make it out, but then, like, it goes away.
It's like. It's this incomplete feeling that's totally. There's a blockage there. And I just. For someone like you who the. Where tears flow so freely, like, did you ever not have that?
Or is that something that you worked on? I'm just curious.
Malin: I think I worked on that. Yeah.
Yeah.
I know that I.
Or when I was little, like, preteen. I think I remember that I was very.
How to say it? Like, I was choosing when to cry and when not to cry because I was very. Like, if some person was in the room, I wasn't gonna cry.
I remember, like, no, like, I'm not gonna do that when this person is here close to me, you know?
But then I also remember when I was like, about.
I think it was like 17 or 18 or something.
Yeah. Late teens, at least.
I remember reading a book. I don't remember which book, though. But I know that I had just, like, finished it, I think, before I was going to have dinner, like, with the family, and, you know, it was just an ordinary day and just.
Yeah, I just had just read a book and was just going to have dinner, and I just couldn't stop crying because this book had just touched me so much, and I was just crying and crying, and I remember my younger brother saying, like, but why.
Why are you crying?
You know? And I'm just, oh, this book, it's nothing, you know?
Yeah. And then also, like. I think it's like some months from that, I also watched a movie who also, like, I just started crying and cried and cried all through dinner again, you know, and just.
And I feel like in that period of time or somewhere close that I.
I just had enough, I think, because I felt like, if I want to cry, then I'm gonna do it.
And then I just felt like it's such a strong need from my body and I need to let it have that moment because it will pass.
Like, I'm not gonna cry forever. Even if it feels like that when you're starting or when you're in the middle, but you are going to stop to cry, too.
And.
Yeah, But I. I feel like also when I had a burnout some years ago, and I know when I.
Yeah. Was going through that or was trying to make myself better, I just have that as like a mantra to.
Every feeling is okay. Every feeling is okay to exist.
And I need to feel all of them to also be able to feel happiness.
And I want to feel happiness, of course. Like, but then I also need to feel all the other stuff too.
And. Yeah, so I know I just, like, kept repeating that for myself.
Emily: That reminds me of a quote I absolutely love. I actually use it as one of my birth affirmations. I forget who said it. Some Rinpoche, but it's beauty and terror.
Let every feeling happen to you. No feeling is final. Or let everything happen to you. No feeling is final.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: And yeah, that. That absolutely was a part of my, like, birth preparation and life preparation.
Malin: Yeah, I think that, again, is balanced just as with the resting.
Emily: Yeah, it's also too, like, we have this spectrum of emotion. I usually use grief and ecstasy as like the two polar ends, but who knows? I mean, maybe it's. There's more beyond that, but, like, in order to feel the full spectrum of either side, we have to go to the opposite side.
Just as you were saying again in your bio, you know, you need the darkness to be able to appreciate the light, see the light.
And this is all like basic duh, right. But are you really, truly embodying it in your life? And the way that you show up in this world and do you.
Have you really assimilated that into your character, into your being?
And it's such a practice, you know, it's easy to say things. It's easy to get the concept, like you were saying again, like, being up in your head. But, like, are you bringing it down into your body and in your experience in this lifetime?
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Are we really allowing ourselves to feel, to feel? And I feel like feelings are the.
Emily: Soul talking to us.
Emily: Right?
Malin: Yeah, definitely.
Emily: I want to ask you about this soul therapist. I love that you have that in your bio. I want to know more about being a soul therapist.
Malin: Yeah, I think, of course, it is soul centered.
And I have this, like, treatment or session that I offer, and it's one of my favorite things ever.
And then you, when you come to me, we can just like check in and see, like, where are you right now? How are you feeling?
And then you get to lay down and maybe I gave you some scalp massage maybe, or maybe your hands.
And often I do this, like, intuitive.
Yeah, I just put my Hands on the head. Like on.
Yeah. I don't even know where that is coming from. I just do what feels right for that person and yeah. Have that time.
But yeah, the idea is that you get to rest and you get to connect with your body. And I help you by massaging you so that you like that you feel your fingertips and your.
Your hands, your arms.
Yeah. And your scalp, as I said. And often I like touch your legs and feet also.
And you just get to be in this mindful, meditative state.
And then I often get you to be like, I tuck you in sort of. And you just get to be there all by yourself. Like I can be in the room still, but you get a few minutes to just be you and your body all tucked in, all safe.
And then I wake you up if that is needed. And then we have a chat about like, life and what's present for you right now.
And I just love those conversations because when you have that time before you.
You sort of get in this deep state, you know, like we.
We get to talk about stuff that matters for real. Like we. After that, we don't talk about the weather. Weather, you know, like we talk about.
Yeah. What's present on your inside, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: I mean, you're literally facilitating the slowdown.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: So that this beautiful person on your table is able to access that information that present all the time.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: The soul.
Malin: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I really love it. Yeah. Yeah. I wish you could come here or I could come to you and I could give you one.
Emily: I know. I mean, I'm sure the touch is important, but I bet you could do this virtually and long distance, just talking people through.
Malin: Yeah, maybe.
Emily: Yeah, I think you could.
Malin: Yeah, definitely. Something to consider, I think. Yeah.
Emily: So what else is on your heart today, Malin?
Malin: Oh, I just saw the moon.
Emily: You can already see the moon. What time is it there right now?
Malin: Oh, it's like 4:40 in the afternoon. Yeah.
So. And it's.
I just thought it was so amazing because it's been so cloudy today. So I thought like, oh, but I'm not gonna see the moon.
Emily: Like it's bright already because it's the super moon this month.
Malin: Yeah. And then when we were just talking now, like, it just like glimpsed through and it was so beautiful.
Emily: My son is absolutely obsessed. Obsessed with the moon right now. And I love it so much. He demands that we go out and look at the moon and stars before bedtime.
That's part of his bedtime ritual now.
Malin: Oh, yes. The best Yeah, I.
Emily: You know how when you walk, it looks like the moon's following you?
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: I say, yeah, the moon's following us. And so now he's always like, the moon follows us. The moon follows us.
Malin: Yeah. Oh, so cute. Yeah.
Emily: So interesting to try to teach him, too, about, you know, because the moon looks different every single time you look out into the sky. It's in a different place, it has a different shape.
But to explain to him that it's the same moon, but just going through phases is a really fun thing to teach a child.
Malin: Yeah, definitely.
And I. Yeah, I really love that part, you know, when you get to.
Or often for me, like, you know, it's more like my eyes are drawn to it. So, you know, it's just like such magical thing to have just like your eyes drawn to something like that.
Like the moon, I think. But also, you know, someone.
Some nights when you're looking for it, like, where is it? Like, I should be able to see it at this time.
And then it's like, in a whole other place than you thought it would be.
Emily: I still, I have not figured out she is a wild one. Yeah. I mean, right? Like, she is the feminine energy in the sky.
Malin: Yeah, she.
Emily: She is the feminine.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: And God bless that beautiful example that we have every single month, this full expression into the darkness. Full expression and back into the darkness.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: It's such a great practice for anyone listening out there just to tune in to where the moon is. You know, in my women's circles, that's really what we do, is we tune in to, okay, where's the moon?
What is the energetics of that? Are we on our full bloom expression? And are things being greatly illuminated or are we slowing down? Are things a little darker? Are things slower?
Are we more feeling, more inward? And we talk about our womb season, you know, are you bleeding?
Are you in your resting, visioning, dreaming stage, more inward? Or are you coming into your full bloom, your ovulation?
Emily: Are you coming down?
Emily: You know, entering closer to the winter, letting things go? What no longer serves.
I. You know, I'm obsessed with the luteal phase because I've struggled so much in my life with it. But this whole concept of just the stuff that's coming up is coming up for a reason.
Like, shifts need to be made, alignment needs to be, you know, your focus here, anything that's irritating is like a flashing sign to, hey, look at this address this, what's happening here?
You know, And. And we. We must slow down in order to, like, get the signal in order to be able to read the signs, to get more aligned.
So, yeah, in my circle, that's. That's what we do. And then we share what's present for us. And it's. It's sisterhood.
Malin: Right.
Emily: You see, in the mentorship, sisterhood, talking about this stuff, you know, it's so.
It's so magical to be able to do this with other women that are also interested in the same thing, you know, that are wanting to be more attuned to these seasons.
And again, not just talking about it, but embodying it.
Malin: Yeah.
Yeah. I really love that. I really love that. Yeah. And I love just, like, noticing sort of like, you know, the connection or, you know, where you are in your blade and where the moon is at, you know, and just like, noticing, like, oh, here's where I'm at and here's the moon.
And just. I think that.
Or I. I just love taking that moment.
Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: Feeling into it.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Yeah. For the. For quite a while, I was bleeding with the full moon like you are now.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Which is very interesting. It's very interesting to be kind of, like, on the opposite side of, you know, what you would consider more typical.
But my cycle has flipped now, so now I am bleeding with the new moon, which, I don't know, I like that a little more.
It's kind of a big deal, I think, to be bleeding with the full moon. How are you dealing with that? How are you feeling?
Malin: Like, just last night I slept so bad.
Like, I felt like I was just thinking, like, this is a joke, you know, like, why am I even in the bed? Like, why, you know, when you get so frustrated, like, it's the middle of the night and.
And you can't sleep, Like.
And I feel like that is a typical, like, full moon thing for me. Like, sleeping very bad.
Emily: Often it's heightened, too, when you're on or near your bleed because of the progesterone.
Malin: Yeah. And I was so hot also. Like, I was so, so warm. And I was just like. But, oh, my God, just leave me alone. You know, I just had that feeling, and I tossed and I turned and, you know, I think that maybe all the, like, breathing exercises and stuff that you actually know are so far from where you are at that time because you just want to sleep and you can't.
And it's hot or it's cold or, you know, and. Yeah.
I just hope that tonight is going to be a better night, even if.
Yeah. I have noticed that it's often, for me at least the like three nights before the actual full moon. That is often like the hardest nights for me. Just sleep wise.
Emily: Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. It's just incredible how the moon affects us.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: It's, it's not just woo woo foo foo talk. It's like, it's for real.
Malin: Yeah. I mean if they can move the oceans and what are we like, are we 70 per se? 80%.
Emily: Yeah. It's water.
Malin: It's so much water. Like of course it's affect us. Of course it does. Like of course. Come on.
Like, I really love talking about this. Like I feel so at home, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. It's really nice. It is. Yeah.
Emily: So I'm thinking that we should. I would really love to hear you just all of this beautiful rest and nourishment and just like tender loving care that you give to yourself.
I also want to hear about a little bit more about the gifts that you have and that you offer to women because you are literally a gift. But you are also in this creation process of bringing forth from your soul some, you know, offerings.
And I know it's all like new and you're still like meditating and dreaming it all up, but I would just, I want to hear about it. I want to give you some space to talk about your, your visions.
Malin: Oh, thank you for giving me space.
Oh, I think like now I'm in a pretty good place, like mind wise, like with the thoughts and the dreaming, like it feels exciting and fun, you know.
And yeah, of course I want to attend more births. Oh, I think that's a so hard word in English, but birth. Do I say it? Okay? Yeah.
Okay.
I really want to attend more because that is just like, that's the thing.
Emily: You know, it's all the magic. Yeah, it's all of it right there.
Malin: Yeah.
Yeah. And I really love that I have been, you know, attending one at least and now I want like I know what I want to bring to a woman and I want like I know how to or of course it's like a work in progress like all the time.
But I know more what I want to give.
I know more what I want to give her for, like, you know, what question she should ask.
Like I just love that kind of space to be with a woman or a human that just like what is right for you, like just bringing the power back to them.
Yeah, I just love being in that space.
And also I been helping or holding women's circles also.
And I just love that space too. Just like, bringing in or gathering women and just spending time together.
I think that is.
Oh, it's so beautiful. And all this, like, knowledge, you know, that we just have in our bodies that just, like, comes forth when we are sharing our thoughts and dreams and perspectives.
I just love that part so much.
Emily: Me too.
Malin: Yeah. And I. It's so beautiful. And I have just started to dream a lot about bringing in more Magas and Crohn's.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: Yeah. To my space and to. Yeah. Just bringing them forth, I think. Yeah. Just. Yeah. I just love that idea.
Emily: Me too. I've only had a couple show up to my circle, you know, a handful of times, and it's just. It's such.
It's such a different experience knowing that you have an elder, like, in circle with you even, and. And, like.
Oh, I just.
We need more. We need more elders in our circles. They are really the ones supposed to be showing us the roadmap, you know?
Emily: Yeah, they really are. And also the healing, you know, the.
Emily: Healing that they may need from maybe not having this gathering, this sisterhood and within their lives and just, like, witnessing and seeing that and, like, what it does to their heart and their soul, that's what I've gotten from the ones that have come to my circle.
Just like, expressing, like, the. Oh, my God, I'm so happy you women are doing this now. Like, they just. They can see it like a projector. They can see it from the horizon view from, like, the big, big map scene of their life, and they're just like, this is so needed.
This is so beautiful. I'm so like, keep going, ladies. It's just.
Malin: Yeah, I think that's really beautiful.
And just, yeah. Taking care of their legacy, sort of, you know? And also, I started to dream about another project, I think, but maybe it's not ready for the world yet.
I don't know. Or maybe I'm not ready. Sure, sure. Yeah.
And, yeah, I just love working with women. Yeah. I been thinking about a lot about, like, teenagers and preteens also. Just to give them a space to be, you know, to be a woman in.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: Like, for real, you know, talking about all of it.
Emily: Like, giving them a map.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Giving them an example.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Teaching them the ways of the womb in our cycle. I am so passionate about that, too. And I have to be careful because I get passionate about all these things. Then I'm like, wait a minute, I'm doing 500 things at once.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Like, women, you know, all through the ages, all through the seasons of our lives, it's just.
And I've always, ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to work with children.
I've always wanted to work with children.
And I've always had such a soft place in my heart for those women making the transition into womanhood, like, you know, the first bleed and just wanting to hold them through that and love them through that and show them a different way.
And there's a girl here locally, her name's Molly, and she and I, we're going to be partnering up eventually, when the time's right, to hold some circles for younger women and their first leads and such.
And yes, Malin, I feel you on that. It's so important, so needed. Like, what if we could help shift the trajectory sooner?
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: You know what I mean?
Malin: Yeah, definitely.
And I feel I just want to have or.
I think I always had a lot of older friends.
Like, I have friends that are in their 50s and 70s.
Emily: Me too.
Malin: Yeah. And I like, I love it so much, you know, and also realizing how much age just doesn't mean anything, really. Sort of. You just get more experience, you know.
Emily: And more, like, relaxed, right? Yeah, yeah, hopefully.
Malin: Hopefully. Yeah.
Yeah.
And.
Yeah. But I also feel like I want to bring in the, like, the girls too and just giving them space to be.
And I'm so looking forward to seeing that happen, I think just.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: Just to have.
Yeah. That I could be a part of just a meeting point sort of for women in all, like in all ages, in all stages, in all cycles and just like learning from one another and.
Yeah. Just sharing a space, really.
Emily: I feel like from what I've heard from you and Anna. Anna also lives in Sweden. Just like how needed that is in Sweden right now, that it's not something that's offered, you know, on every corner.
It's like, pretty rare, right?
Malin: Yeah, it is. But I feel like it's so needed and I'm happy to go first.
Emily: Okay. Yes. I know it took you a little while to say that.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Like, yeah, that's. That's the transformation I've happened in you since the mentorship began.
Malin: Yeah. But I feel like it's such. Or I can't let it just be a dream.
Emily: Yeah.
Malin: I can't let it. Like. No.
Emily: Yeah. That's your soul right there.
Malin: Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: She has a mission and so much beautiful medicine to give.
Malin: Yeah.
Emily: Really, truly. And I mean that, Malin, like I told you and I mentioned earlier in those one to ones that we had. And just like watching and being in your, you know, energetics throughout the mentorship and as we've stayed in touch, it's just you.
You literally just emanate love.
And it's so precious.
It's so precious.
Such a gift.
Malin: Oh, I love that I do that. I love that I. I love to hear that you are saying that. That I give that to you. Like, I think it's the best compliment ever.
Emily: I. I agree. I mean, like, that video that you posted on Instagram not too long ago. You're speaking in another language. I have no idea what you're saying, but I'm like, she loves me.
Look at those eyes. Looking at me with such love.
Oh, it's so sweet.
Malin: Yeah. But I, like, I feel like whatever I put up, like, on Instagram, I feel like everything has to.
I want it to come from a loving space, and I'm only human, you know, so maybe I can't create those reels or posts, like, every day. Maybe because you don't feel great every day, and that's okay.
Like. But I feel like it's so important to.
I really want my Instagram page to be a loving space.
Emily: Yeah. All it is.
Malin: Yeah. Yeah. That is very important for me that it is, like, yeah, definitely.
Emily: Well, we must wrap up. If you wouldn't mind just sharing your Instagram or where people can connect with you.
Malin: Yeah, my Instagram is called Elinorstotter. It's my mother's name and daughter afterwards.
Emily: Yeah, I love that. And I will link it in the show notes. Do you have a website? Are you working on a website?
Malin: Oh, I have a website, Elenorsdotter Se. It's in Swedish at all, but maybe. Maybe some other website can help you translate it.
Emily: Yeah, there are websites that do that, but also for people in Sweden. If you speak English and you're listening to this, you should totally look up Malin.
Malin: Yeah, you're welcome.
Emily: Thank you, Malin, for coming on to share your beautiful medicine with us today.
Malin: Oh, thank you for holding space.
Emily: Thank you for listening through to the end. I do hope you found good medicine in today's episode and that it encourages your own soul evolution. I have a few new offers, both in person and virtual, that I'd like to tell you about.
Beginning in January, I will host a free in person perinatal women's circle for anyone trying to conceive, pregnant or postpartum. Seeking community and support. There will be a focus on preparing for natural birth and healing from birth trauma.
Children are welcome. You can sign up via my website.
I also now offer a monthly online virtual village circle for families seeking an empowering physiological conception, pregnancy, labor, Birth and postpartum. It's just $10 a month or free when you purchase my online course.
So you want a home birth? You can gain access by signing up via my website.
As always, I host Women's Circles once a month at my home in Southern Maine. All women are welcome. For details, go to my website.
I have 20 years of experience in the medicalized system. I let my nursing license expire in 2023 and now I walk with women seeking a physiological, instinctual and deeply spiritual conception, pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum journey.
I help prepare and repair for the most expansive rite of pass message that women get to experience in this lifetime. It is my greatest honor and sole mission to hold sacred space and witness women as they claim their own inner authority and power.
I am a fierce advocate and guardian of natural birth using the culmination of my life's experiences including my own embodied wisdom when it comes to being a home birthing mother.
Nearly two decades of experience in our healthcare system and a year long sacred birth worker mentorship with Anna the Spiritual Midwich.
I support births with or without a licensed provider present at home birth centers and the hospital.
I offer birth debriefing and integration sessions for women, their families and birth workers.
I offer therapeutic one to one sessions, individually tailored mother blessings, closing of the bones and fear and trauma release ceremonies.
If any or all of this resonates, I offer a free 30 minute discovery.
Emily: Call if you have a birth story.
Emily: To share or if you're a embodied wise woman, witch healer, medicine woman.
Emily: I am also interested in sharing your contribution to our soul evolution.
Emily: You can book in via the link in the show notes. Thank you so much for your love and support everyone. Until next time, take really good care.
