55. [WISE WOMAN] WITH EMILY MADEN OF MAIDEN MEDICINE - THE SACRED SEXUAL SPLIT - RETURN TO PLEASURE & AGENCY
This episode might be my favorite. Emily and I could have talked for days. There are so many important topics to cover within her work.
We touch on:
The paper wall illusion separating our head and pelvis or the split between sacred and sexual
The endogenous spiritual journey into self
The sacred emotional range of the feminine
Shame vs curiosity
An incredible guided visualization of our pelvic bowl and pleasure centers
Oxytocin circuitry
Her birth experience
"There is nothing between you and God- you don't need to be fixed"
"My name is Emily Maden.
I am a former collegiate basketball and elite Crossfit athlete.
I am a new mother to my son, Hawk.
I am a wife to my cosmic champion Rob.
I am pursuing a doctorate in acupuncture and Chinese medicine.
I love to surf, travel, dance and jump into handstands whenever I can.
The work I do is actually quite simple:
Woman has been disconnected from her pleasure body because of the deeply entrenched conditioning of the sacred sexual split.
The split shrouds access to her pleasure body through shame which creates tension in her body without freedom, agency or ability to use her voice.
That tension winds down into the matter of her feminine landscape breeding pathology.
My work is to unwind this tension in her body through on the biostructural, physiological, emotional, relational and spiritual levels restoring unfettered access to her pleasure and the power of her female sexuality. "
Find me on instagram @birth.advocate and all of my offerings on my website www.birthadvocate.me
Join the Oracle Chronicles Private Women's Circle HERE
You can support this podcast by donating HERE
Check out my course 'So You Want a Home Birth?' HERE
Join my monthly Virtual Village Circle HERE
Your FREE resources HERE.
To book a FREE discovery call for my Beyond a Doula services, to interview on the show, or to join my Women’s Circle click here.
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Music The Ancients (feat. Loga Ramin Torkian) by Azam Ali
Disclaimer:
The information and resources provided by me are not intended to constitute or replace medical or midwifery advice or a Mother’s intuition. Instead, all information provided is intended for education purposes only. My advice is not to be seen as medical diagnosis or to treat any medical illness or condition of Mother or baby/fetus.
The following transcript is AI generated and will have errors
EMILY N: I want to let you know about a private women's circle that I'll be hosting via Zoom starting March 25th. It's called the Oracle Chronicles.
In this container, I am inviting you to deepen your awareness of the divine self of womanhood and our societal influences.
At the center of the spiral path is the still point,
a place within you that holds your highest knowing and your truest essence.
This container first invites you to be curious about the influence of her story and your personal red thread maternal lineage.
We explore the impact of the seven stages of your birth imprint, your first bleed, sisterhood and witch wounds.
The invitation further extends for you to fully inhabit your feminine essence, your cyclical nature, sensuality, sexuality, your special gifts, your voice, pleasure and desires.
When a woman shows up at the center of the spiral,
fully embodied in her powerful feminine essence,
she is the oracle.
She is a clean and clear receptivity channel for divine whispers of wisdom,
a vessel and an instrument that stewards humanity,
gestates, births, raises the next generation.
We need her. You Now.
The resources and information provided throughout this container will deepen your awareness of and relationship to your own inner oracle.
Don't be scared, don't be shy, don't be timid. Don't say this doesn't apply to me.
EMILY N: Every woman that means you has a.
EMILY N: Special and unique gift for the world.
The sacred sisterhood within this container will hold and witness you with their whole hearts and be a soft landing place for your soul.
We do this work for generations past, present and future.
Come and walk the spiral path and greet your inner oracle with us.
It is time.
I promise you. The budding awakening that will happen in this container is just the beginning.
You will go forth with this information and begin to emerge a new version of yourself.
One that is more centered,
grounded, intuitive, creative, confident, mindful, soft and sensual.
Come start the ripple process with us. Six sessions begin the last week of March via Zoom. It's going to be on Tuesdays beginning March 25th from 5:30 to 7:00pm you can register via the link in the show notes.
I can hardly wait to open the sacred container with you.
EMILY N: Welcome to Soul Evolution.
EMILY N: My name is Emily, also known as the Birth Advocate. I am a retired nurse, health coach, women's circle and ceremony facilitator, and the host of this podcast. Here we dive deep to reclaim our rites of passage with a big dose of birth story medicine, intentionally curious conversations with embodied wisdom keepers and a sprinkle of polarity as we will hold space for our men from time to time too.
I hope you Find nourishment for your soul here.
As you probably heard my course so youo Want a Home Birth? Your complete guide to an Empowering, Physiological Birth is now available.
You can listen to episode 41 to.
EMILY N: Hear all about it or you can.
EMILY N: Go to my website www.birthadvocate.me course to learn more. I have poured my heart and soul into this complete, complete guide to an Empowering, Physiological Home Birth course. You will walk away feeling ready body, mind and soul, knowing that everything you need to birth your baby already exists within you.
Your questions will be answered, guaranteed. Your fears will be quelled. I walk you through, step by step, exactly how to prepare yourself, your partner and your home for the most incredible experience experience you get to have in this lifetime.
Birth is a sacred rite of passage worthy of honoring.
Do not leave it up to chance.
Stay tuned after the show to learn all about my Beyond Adola offerings, both in person and virtually worldwide. If you're enjoying the content, please consider a donation to help cover the cost of production.
I alone schedule, record, edit and produce.
EMILY N: This beautiful labor of love.
EMILY N: You can either donate through my website www.birthadvocate.me donate or simply venmo me at the Birth Advocate.
Reading your reviews on itunes and seeing the ratings on Spotify just makes my day. Please, if you haven't yet, take the time to do so now. It really helps expand the reach and send this episode to someone who needs it.
You will find photos and videos of my guests on my Instagram account, Earth Advocate. You can always email me at connectirthadvocate Me. I'd love to hear from you. Now let's drop in to today's episode.
EMILY N: Welcome Emily, to the podcast. I told you we've been talking a bit before I hit record, but I've been stalking you in the most loving way since I heard you on the Wise Woman Diaries, telling your beautiful story to Leah.
And I just. It. It was just one of those like when you feel truth, when you feel resonance, when you. When you feel it, you know it. And I was like, oh wow.
EMILY N: Wow.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah.
EMILY N: So then I. I went down the Emily rabbit hole and I checked out your website and I listened to all of your other podcasts and I reached out to you and I was like, girl, come on to my podcast, please.
I don't know what we're going to talk about because there's so much. Yes, but please come. So I just want to give you a very warm welcome and invite you to introduce yourself as you see fit.
EMILY MADEN: Hello Emily. Thank you so much for having me.
I. My name is Emily Maiden. I'm the owner of Maiden Medicine and the creatrix of it.
I live in the San Diego area with my husband and my baby. I'm finishing up my doctorate in acupuncture and Chinese medicine. That was kind of my entry to the license.
I thought I needed to do what I'm actually doing now because that's a whole nother story about pulling back more layers of permission.
And I work. My obsession, my passion, my, like, raison d'etre, is to help women recognize or claim the freedom that they already have in their bodies. And I, the path to that and where it started for me, the epicenter is their root, their pelvic bowl, their tissues,
their musculature,
all of it, the whole shebang, their lymph of, their pelvic landscape. And I went deep into that. And then of course, that just as we go deep into the depth of the feminine, it's ever expansive and there's so many spirals and tendrils and unfurlings.
And that has taken me into deeper layers of sacred sexuality and expression.
So that's the work that I do with women. Everything from the physiological, biostructural level, down, up, sideways,
every which way to the spirit of the womb. And what's really taking a woman back to her essence, her true nature. Throwing out all rule books and giving her the permission, mirroring her the permission through my own life of living on the edge,
that, yes, she can. Yes, you can. You can say the thing, you can ask for the thing, you can feel the thing.
And where does that take you? So that's the work that I do.
It's, it's. Yeah, I just absolutely love it. I'm so passionate about it.
And that's my introduction.
I also, My background is athletics, so I was a hard, driven athlete for my entire life. I grew up on a ranch where I like lifted 80 pound pipe every day to like, for my dad, for fencing.
Like, I was so hardcore. And if you look back at photos of me from that time and even when I like first met my husband after my, like, CrossFit foray,
my face was so different. Like very hard, hardened, angular and stiff. And there's people who meet me now, they're like, I knew you in your CrossFit days. You look completely different.
And I would say that because I have touched my true nature. And this is why I love the path of sacred sexuality, because I'm finding out through entropy, through being in the rock tumbler, through Living on the edge and giving myself that permission,
I find out more of what makes Emily and Emily and how do I roll with that. And it's. It's hard work, but it's also so freeing in this work.
So I.
For any woman who feels that call, I'm. I'm here to support them in.
In the way. Is that from, hey, how do I, like, talk to my lover about this? Or how can I, like, how can I even say that? And what does it mean to actually, like,
know my cervix? Like, all these very subtle, nuanced,
nameless elements that makes up your nature, or a woman's specific,
unique feminine expression?
EMILY N: You know, you do. You've said multiple times I've heard you talk about the paper wall.
And it's so.
So it feels like a cliff, right, to, like, so many women out there.
EMILY MADEN: It's.
EMILY N: We don't realize that it's this paper wall, but I'd really love if you could tell us what is this paper wall and what is beyond it and explain that.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah. So the paper wall. You know, I think we all are waking up to many of the illusions and the stories and the narratives that have been handed to us, and we enculturate them or we internalize them as women,
and they're what I. You know, Kasia Urbaniak, her work, she would call it in an invisible bind.
And this bind keeps woman separate from the head and the pelvis. Like, they're not integrated.
And so most of us are just walking around, like, in the head. And we're constantly externalizing a resource, our power, because that's what we've. Our moms did. That's what their moms did.
That's what maybe the men in their. Her family have done. That's what all her friends do.
And then. And then there's always this point in a woman's life, whether at any transition, you know, monarchy, to maybe the first time she has sex, to the first time she has a baby to menopause.
Like, whatever it is,
for me, it was actually an abortion experience or pregnancy release. There's always this. This portal that your womb gets really loud and she's calling you in.
And we have that choice in that moment to go in or to continue to stay in our head.
And this can feel when we. When we need it, because we are the first women in our generation,
the first women in our lineage, rather,
to be meeting this.
It can feel like this massive void of unknown, of a reservoir of emotions,
all the lineage baggage that's been passed down and kind of kicked down the road, kicked down the line. So it can feel immense.
But that's the nature,
the feminine. It's immense. It's vast, like an ocean. Like you're. You're in the middle of the ocean. And so that is what our whole culture has actually done a really good job to avoid, this space,
right? And so we do everything we can as humans to manipulate or manage outcomes in order to not feel this space.
And when you have the courage, or maybe you have the hand, the mirror, the person to help you be in that space,
that's when you punch through the paper wall and you're like, oh, I'm not gonna die here,
right? And then it's just like a little right through the paper wall and you're like. And you're like, okay, if I can be here and not die, where else can I go and not die?
And by not die, I mean like your nervous system is so set up in a way. Your con, Our psychological conditioning is so set up in a way to avoid this.
The space between the split of the sacred and the sexual and the woman's body is it. You're the,
like the knit or the weave or the bridge between the sacred and the specific and the sexual. That's why, you know, for many, many years, like second, third and fourth ways wave feminists have said, like, the body is political for a woman.
And that is largely true. We don't have to get into politics, but we can get into what is truly here for us as feminine beings on this earth.
And once you punch through that paper wall,
everything becomes everything. How you breathe, how you breathe into the low belly, how you hold your cup, your own vulva, how you taste your own saliva, you begin to resource in the body.
And when you're resourced in your body particularly, and for women like we already have all the inbuilt systems to do that,
to feel God, to feel spirit.
When we sit in the body or resource the body,
then we don't need to seek an answer outside of ourselves. It's an endogenous heroine's journey. We go in so deep and the depths is endless. And you're claiming ground in this nameless space and done through, as one teacher told me, like, you're in the dark and you're.
There's puzzle pieces strewn everywhere and you have to feel your way to put these pieces together.
And it's actually a really fun journey.
And there are many deaths within that journey.
And this is where, when you walk into a Room. And I'm sure many women listening to this, I know I felt this before I had got into my body. I'd walk into a room and people would look at me and like, I felt like they saw the spaces or the holes within me.
And now I walk into a room and I feel solid. I feel completely in my body. And like,
so it's a, it's a, it's a visceral experience to walk through the world in that way. And that's, that's truly what we need. Women. What I'm calling women, what I'm inviting women to do, as are you, Emily, is to walk through the world in a different way.
That gives people permission to insource rather than constantly externally resource. Which is exhausting. Right. Because it's never really you,
it's everyone else telling you what you is.
EMILY N: Right, right.
EMILY N: And that space between, you know, again, like, I talk about it all the time, our red thread maternal lineage, you know, like, and how we've been indoctrinated. The her story of birth, the her story of women and like, how we.
We got so disconnected.
But this.
Okay, so for me, when I gave birth in, In September of 2022, it blew me wide open.
I have been celibate since I was pregnant. I have not had sex since I gave birth. So we're only gonna be going on three years. And in this coming August,
because I could no longer allow something that was not so sacred to be happening. It could. No, it could no longer be. I. I was completely humbled to what I thought sex was,
completely humbled to it.
And so that's where I am. Like I said before we started recording, like, I'm here just like peering over the ledge of like, what is possible out there? Because I know for fuck's assurity, it is not what I've been doing.
There's so much more here. So I've basically just been like, cleaning my vessel. Like, I've just been purifying,
not allowing what is not fully aligned. A heart, body, mind and soul. Yes, like, that's what I've been saying.
But also to be honest, because that's how I roll.
It's scary.
It's scary because it is so unknown,
you know, and because the rage that I feel,
I don't know exactly actually how to handle that. And I'm not in a relationship where that container can be held for me. So, like, I'm doing this on my own.
I'm figuring this out on my own. And with sisters, I mean, I have sisters, you know, but I. It's still a very inward journey.
It's. It's not a journey that you're doing with another. This is a. I. I'm very aware that this is an internal process.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for sharing. And I would say that is. That is the path of waking up. It's like to the reverence of your body and your womb and your.
Your pussy and your yoni. It's just like. Oh.
And you're met with. Yes, a. A wave,
many waves of rage. I still feel them. That's mostly like my default emotion, actually.
But I've learned really fun ways to work with that.
One of which is I. I get out my whip and I put on hot lingerie and I beat the ground.
EMILY N: Sounds amazing.
EMILY MADEN: And I put on like some really rap music and I just like let myself feel that charge because for so long. And David Davis talks about this. Like women, we've been so gaslit to keep our emotions within a swimming pool.
And truly the awakening process is which. That's life force energy at a trickle, right?
EMILY N: Yeah.
EMILY MADEN: So you're then making decisions based off of like the tip of your clitoral glands and like your ovulation ultimately.
So when we're like in that space,
we're really. We feel very stuck. We feel very inhibited. And things aren't flowing in the body like that. That energy isn't flowing. And so part of that process is completely going into the depth of the feminine, which is feeling the bigness of that charge and that then we become our oceanic selves,
which is the true nature of woman. Right. Sometimes the ocean is raging and roiling and bubbling. Sometimes it's glassy and got two to three foot waves that you're just cruising on.
Right. So that's such an important part of this process. And for most women, when we get to that point where it's just like that rage seems. It seems bad, wrong, I'm crazy, something's wrong with me.
Or we tend to want to weaponize it. And this is where we see a lot of the feminist movements. These causes for our woman become like, so what's the word?
They become weaponized because we haven't sat with our emotions, we haven't truly metabolized them. So then the other, the other becomes wrong and they have to change and they have to do something different.
And what does that sound like to you? To me, it sounds like all the causes in patriarchal over culture that start off so great and then we lose it because everybody else has to like bow down to us.
Which don't get me wrong, my queen bee energy is like, everyone bow down to me.
I want all of your to be hard, and I want to be having glorious orgasms. And then you can go away, right? And just like that's my big queen bee energies.
But it ultimately the responsibility lies. This is how big a woman's responsibility is because she has a big energetic capacity in her womb. And so learning how to metabolize and move that energy through your body and land back in desire space, which is a very different channel than the emotional channel,
we get to reorient to that. And then that's where we get to invite in our collaborators on our feminine awakening journey. Which is. This is something that's really on my heart right now because I'm going to be teaching in this space.
It's called Cosmic Courtesan, and it's really how to be a woman who has her own back now and how to be in relationship with that.
And I have so much compassion for this because I. My whole life was overstepping my body in order to perform and to be successful. Like, as an athlete, I was literally trained to ignore the cues of my body and move past that.
So of course my. My sex with people, with my partners was. Was exactly like that. I was constantly overstepping my body and looking to please and then like, looking for a thrill, looking for the next dopamine hit of that very tip of the iceberg, like clitoral glands, orgasm.
And not that there's anything wrong with that, but there's also this vast cosmos beyond that available for you.
So I was really like trapped in that consciousness.
So when I got out of a very painful, emotionally abusive relationship that crushed my entire career and like, had me in like, hot shame seat of all these publicly,
I was like, all right, I'm going all in on me. Because, like, the whole world is basically saying that I'm an asshole. I'm wrong, I'm guilty, I'm a liar.
I guess there's nowhere else to go. Like, there's nowhere else for me to go. So I, like, I had to go in on that endogenous journey.
And that was also precipitated by like a trauma bonded abortion experience as well. So I had nowhere else to go. And I had to go deep within.
And that's where I began to punch through the paper wall and see that. Oh, it's like I am the creatrix of my experience.
What does my vulva feel like? What does the tissues of my internal sanctums my inner sanctums, my vaginal canal feel like. What does my cervix feel like?
Oh, whoa. My womb has, like, a voice, and she's, like, connecting with me.
There's a compass in here that I'm, like, learning how to navigate. And so I went all in on my own pleasure. How do I be my own best lover?
And that was such an incredible experience to learn how Emily works from,
like, learning how to gush and squirt and then learning how to touch and heal my own cervix and hydrate her and remineralize her. And then when I did meet the my man that my husband that I'm with, and now I was able to ask, like, make asks, I'm like,
ooh, like, there's a curiosity here instead of a mountain of shame, which is what also lies within the split between sacred and sexuality.
Shame slaps down curiosity real quick. And so when we can. I started to approach my body and my sexuality with curiosity, with my partner. Then it became a game of biofeedback.
Ooh, that didn't feel great for me. Okay, I'm going to learn from that. Or like, oh, that was really interesting. Like, what if we tried this? Right. It's like a game of running new experiments, you know?
And because I created this relationship of curiosity with my sexuality instead of like, this is just how it is, or this is the. This is the template that I've been handed.
And I was able to really start advocating for my body and these layers have. You know, and then in a healthy relationship, in a container with my husband, so many more layers, of course, came off, because we really, truly heal in relationships.
We can do so much on our own. Of course.
EMILY N: I kind of want to talk about that part, because that's personal to me.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah.
EMILY N: Selfishly. And. And also because I think that we all must start there.
I really. I really do believe that.
But you know what I think would be really helpful to women is to just talk about the basic anatomy. And you do a really beautiful job of that because I've heard you weave it into different talks you've done.
And plus, with your acupuncture and that doctorate and all of your experience working.
EMILY N: Within the pelvic bowl.
EMILY N: Why don't you just talk us through a bit of our anatomy?
EMILY MADEN: Sure. Oh, my God. This will be fun. I love that. I've actually never been invited to do that,
so why don't we just, like, go on a. Yeah, we'll go on a journey together. And so if you're listening to this, you can close your eyes and just begin to breathe into the low belly.
And we'll start just a couple inches below your belly button.
And this is the place of womb, your womb.
This is where spirit comes in. This is where life is created and gestated.
This is your compass,
just feeling,
just sensing into the womb. For some women, when they drop down into this place, it can feel like the void. It can feel vast and empty, which for many of us, that feels scary.
That's okay,
good. And then you can place your left hand over the left lower hip or lower belly,
and we can walk along, moving to the left along the uterine tube to the left ovary.
And your ovaries are mitochondrial powerhouses.
Your left ovary is also considered to be your feminine right. She's your muse.
She is moody,
she's coy, She's.
She doesn't really give a. What anybody thinks.
And she's kind of watery. And you can feel even with your left hand, like, does that area feel cold? Does it feel warm?
Does it feel a little tight?
Without judgment, can we just feel those places?
Good. And then you can move over to the right side, placing your right hand over your right ovary. And this is considered your cowboy.
The giddy up, the creative aspect, maybe the masculine channel,
the playful side again, just feeling what's here. The energy, maybe the coldness, a tightness, warm skin, soft skin.
You don't have to be some energetic healer to feel the energy of your body.
You already are this energetic tantrica,
this cosmic cortisone. You're already it.
Good. And then coming back to the center of your womb and center right below your belly button,
and you're going to sink down into the lower womb.
And on the inside of the womb, the lower womb,
is the cervix. Well, like a little well.
And she is the. The gatekeeper. So what is allowed in and what is. Is not allowed in?
And just notice maybe a visual that comes up, a texture, a sound, a t.
And then we sink through the cervix, well into the cervix herself. So this is like the neck of the uterus. It hangs down or protrudes down into your vaginal canal.
And so we're going to swim down through your cervix.
And then you come to the cervical os or the mouth of your own cervix.
And it's like your mouth, your face.
What face is she making?
This is the. The place where dilation occurs or opening or birth is the place the cervix,
where pleasure also occurs.
And on the cervical oz. The mouth, there's actually even subtler pleasure centers,
erogenous zones.
And again, if you're listening to this and you're in the cervix right now, and it feels really foreign. It feels disconnected or far away. That's so okay. That's normal. It takes time to build a relationship.
Taking a breath, just noticing if you've tightened up in the body. Just inhale, exhale.
Good,
good.
And then moving out through. Down through the cervix.
And almost like you're touching all the walls of your upper vaginal canal. There's erogenous zones behind the cervix,
on the sides of the cervix, on the anterior or the belly wall of the vaginal canal, rather.
And vaginal canal feels like all these rugae, these tissues that are like, kind of compressed, like an accordion on top of each other,
right? So that our vagina can expand to max capacity to birth life, which is so insane.
But also, even within all this fascia, there's lots of pleasure,
potentials of pleasure, this whole tube of your vagina.
And swimming down, circulating down, spiraling down the vaginal canal.
There's actually a place in here on the bum side of the wall, like posterior side of the vaginal wall, where there's something called the kundalini. Kundalini spot or the K spot.
And this can be reversed, be pleasurable to touch.
Good. And then reorienting to the belly wall, the interior wall, we have our A spot or anterior fornix.
And then sliding down a little bit deeper, we have our G pad or our G crest.
And this is just on the inside of maybe like at 11 to 2 knuckles. In the anterior wall is our G pad, G crest. And this protects the periorethral glands right above that between your bladder and this G pad.
And this is a place where gushing or squirt comes from Amrita Holy Waters, which in my opinion, every woman can access.
And then moving a little bit further south, we come to the outside of our vagina, into our vulva.
And you'll feel something.
Maybe you could even just cup your vulva right now and just feel your U spot. And this is your urethral where your. Your urethra comes out.
And just north of that is your clitoral glands.
And then you'll also have your labia menorah your inner vaginal lips. And those can look different for every woman. That some can be beautiful, big and meaty, which Is great because we want more surface area, because more surface area equals more pleasure.
Some can be smaller and petite,
and those also can grow the more you touch and massage your inner labia.
If we had a little bit more south, we'll come to the base of the introitus or the opening of your vagina.
And this area has this beautiful capillary zone,
this beautiful capillary zone of pleasure. So this. It's kind of the perineal sponge. And that can feel really delicious also to touch and play with.
Good.
Good. Taking another deep breath into your vulva.
Then we have, of course, the external labia that holds all of you and can bloom and can soften,
can stretch.
And then if we head back north, I don't want to miss this because this is really important. I talk about the clitoral glands, and that's just like the little part of you that's, you know, it's like your nose.
And sometimes that's covered by a hood, clitoral hood. Sometimes it's exposed. It's different on all vulvas.
And this place can feel different for everybody.
But ultimately, this is like the tip of the iceberg of your clitoris. And your clitoris, if you want to imagine, it, actually expands back into the G pad and into the A spot on that anterior belly wall.
Okay.
And then if you also want to imagine the clitoral bulbs that go down either side like parentheses around your vaginal opening.
Okay. So the clitoris expands far and wide.
Clitoris expands far back into the anterior belly wall of your vagina, as well as all around your vulva.
So the pleasure potential there is enormous and unexplored.
Good. And then, of course, we have our pubic mound where our pubic symphysis comes together, which also can expand and stretch during childbirth. We have our pubic hair.
We have all this juicy tissue that's sitting on top of the pubic mound. And then, of course, all around our pubic or pelvic bowl is our hips,
each hip, our sacrum.
And these places are holding you always,
Almost like the masculine structure, the containment of these buoyant,
powerful reproductive and sexual centers that's right within you.
And let's not forget about our anus as well. From perineum to anus, the analogenital triangle.
The anus can provide so much different sensation.
And we often, all of us culturally hold shame around the anus, within the anus.
We can't forget about her either.
That space,
I always refer to them as her because she's sentient like all these different places are sentient in a way.
So that's our journey around the pelvic bowl and your anatomy.
EMILY N: That's beautiful. I feel like we need to weave in though a little bit more of.
EMILY N: The ligaments and the muscles. Because, because it's important.
EMILY MADEN: Why. And that's, I'm curious why you would say that, because for most women I feel like just getting a sense of the feeling that's possible is a great first step. I've also.
And this, your experience may be different, but when I start to get into like the levator ani and the specific muscles and, and the ligaments, it's just like I'm out.
EMILY N: Yep. I don't, I, I would not want.
EMILY N: To know the names.
EMILY N: I think that especially with doing some self massage and just really understanding the hammock of tissue and the way, even just the tilt of our pelvis as a female, how we've basically all been taught to stand like a man when we lift weights, we lift weights as if we were in a man's body.
We don't do that anterior posterior tilt, you know what I mean? We tuck our tailbone instead of letting our glutes be like long and juicy and, and like letting our symphus pubis actually hold up our internal organs.
You know, like letting that be the bottom what's pointing down as opposed to tucking our tailbone and like, you know, not supporting our pelvic floor.
There's just a lot of unlearning that I've done basically since I gave birth. And that dance class that I was at this morning at Uprise Yoga Studio, it's so amazing because it's, it's taught by a woman who like really gets female pelvic anatomy.
And so like everything we do is for the female pelvis,
but just for me, like I, I had, I have always held so much tension in my pelvic floor and like did not, I was not aware of it obviously until like I gave birth and then, you know, and the rehabilitation thereafter just like really getting connected to my pelvic floor and that feeling of when I didn't have a pelvic floor right after birth,
like just that feeling of like nothing holding me up and what that was about.
EMILY N: Yeah, that's why I say that, that's why I bring it in.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah. Well,
where do I go with this? Like, I think that,
I mean, what I, what. I guess my journey into my own pelvic bowl began because I was experiencing such numbness after the pregnancy release experience. That I was like, oh, okay, if I can like, figure out how to clean and jerk barbell or whatever, I can for sure figure out like this space that I had never connected to my pelvic.
Pelvic space, the landscape of it. And so I began doing like, fascial work and like myofascial release and beginning to like,
just feel parts of my, my vulva and my vagina that felt like, really icky and almost acidic in nature. And I mean that what I was feeling was just like a buildup of,
of pelvic adhesion and fascia and stagnant lymph.
And I would just get my thumb into ceremonially and with reverence, I would place my thumb inside and start working like with the pupa vaginalis and just like that classic like midwife stretch.
But I'd be doing that on my own body. And I went to pelvic trainings and it started with, you know, very basic, just like the emotional, spiritual. And then it got into more like,
of the musculature and the ligaments, starting with like Tammy Lynn Kent's work and then going into Martin Bedouin's work and then into Ellen Heed's, like, stream scar tissue remediation work.
But just being able to locate tender places within my own vagina as well as and vulva and be able to like, work that with my own fingers and castor oil and to see the changes that started to take place.
I was like, it was so empowering, right? It's literally taking your own pelvic health into your own hands.
And it was just like getting my traps massaged. But I was taking that awareness and going internal and going deeper and deeper into the musculature of what's. What comprises my pelvic bowl.
And then realizing, like, oh, if I even go in deeper,
I'm now noticing like around the base of my cervix some, some very tender numb spots.
And working with some of that pre sacral fascia,
it just starts to open up. And the more that you do that, it's just more juiced blood and lymph and intracellular fluid starts to come back and rehy. Like all that tissue becomes juicy again and buoyant.
And I think that's really removing from that pelvic tension and compression into a buoyancy. And it's so funny because,
I mean, I lifted weights all my life. And when people, when women say, like, they tuck their pelvis to lift weights, I never understood that because I was never taught to tuck the Tailbone to lift weights, like.
But was there a compression with all of that? Totally. And, like, having. Needing flat abs, needing not to have a low or like a. Like a low belly that was protruding.
Like, there's all. We're compressing that space all the time, so there's actually never any flow. There's a lot of pelvic stagnation because nothing's moving.
But now understanding the buoyancy that I have now with the blood and lymph and the fluids that are flowing, I don't want to do anything. Any kind of lifting that, like, screws that up.
EMILY N: Do you feel that you have a. That you lift differently now that you're more aware of your female anatomy?
EMILY N: I'm curious, actually.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah, I would say that I do especially postpartum. Like, I did a lot of DNS or dynamic neuro stabilization postpartum, and then I've been doing a lot of bowspring,
which has been fascinating.
EMILY N: What is it?
EMILY MADEN: Bowspring?
EMILY N: Don't know. Oh, tell me.
EMILY MADEN: It's yoga for women. It's like not doing. Because yoga, of course, was for men. But this is. This is completely blowing open the idea that we have to be, like, super, like, stiff and tall.
It's like, actually, no, we want to be curvy and honor the curves that, like, you were talking about. And so there is more of a pubic symphysis, like, forward tilt.
But then what happens to a lot of women when we do that is that we actually get compression in the lumbar and the sacrum. And so the cue is. And I did.
I only just learned this, is that when we actually lift our low rib, low rib cage up, your transverse abdominal is turning on, and it's like telescopic. Telescopically lifting your rib cage away from the pelvis so that there's space again.
You're creating space. Like, the rib cage and the pelvis are inextricably linked,
and most women aren't using the entirety of their core, from the QLS to the obliques to the transverse.
So being able to. Yeah, if you can do, like, even just doing that now, like, getting the rib cage, it feels so different because there's no more compression down there.
So when I'm lifting, I'm thinking long, strong, and curvy instead of, like. I think what maybe I was doing in the past was, like, bracing my core in a way that was almost pushing down and out instead of now I'm like.
It's all about, like, getting buoyant. Buoyant. Breasts, buoyant booty and like that long, strong and curvy in the core.
EMILY N: Right?
EMILY N: Yeah, right. Which is reminding me. One other thing just to touch on, on this anatomy piece is how our wombs can be tilted forward, tilted backward, the, the way that they are attached in there.
And something that I learned that is just so cool because like we're born in a spiral. Our wombs actually are more rounded, I think. What is it? The, the left side's a little more rounded, the right side's a little.
And it's sort of like twisted just a little bit.
EMILY MADEN: Oh, wow.
EMILY N: Yeah. If you, if you haven't heard of that, check it out. I learned that from Adelaide Meadows.
EMILY MADEN: Oh, cool.
EMILY N: But that there is like an innate little twist in our, in our wombs because that's, the babies are literally, obviously they make their rotation through the pelvis and so it like helps that spin.
But I think one of the,
one of the hard pressed problems that women are dealing with these days is, is our wombs not being healthy. I mean, we have so many issues going on with our wombs and they just cut them out without much.
You know, we think that there's no other way but like the health of our womb is everything and that's just keeping it tangible. I mean, when our wombs are speaking to us, there's very tangible ways that she speaks.
And it might be, you know, your painful period and it might be a diagnosis of endometriosis. You know, it might be fibroids, it might be prolapse. You know, there's, there's very loud ways that she speaks, but it doesn't always have to be loud.
Maybe we can catch it before then.
EMILY MADEN: Well, this, yeah, this is why we need to educate our, our dear daughters, you know, and actually I'm working on an offering for young women because I just, I love that I feel so passionate about that.
But me too often, I actually can't stand it. And this is, but I also can't curse the consciousness from which we come from. But when a woman says like, oh, retroverted uterus is hereditary, it's like runs in my family.
And like, yeah, let's fix like, not fix that, but let's, let's like be with that because that doesn't have to be your,
the rest of your life, like in like ceremonial bodywork, because we can address the biostructural, the physiological scar tissue and emotions.
Like that's when shifts happen. That's when spontaneous healing happens, when the woman is just held and then we're working on specific ligaments and musculature or that release or that realigning to happen.
And the womb wants to be aligned. She wants to be. But there's. Yeah, there's so many holding patterns generationally and through a woman's life from any. You know, trauma is ubiquitous in our culture.
So the process of, like, receiving, I mean, pelvic floor, physiotherapy, wonderful, great stuff.
But a woman doesn't need more clinical touch. She needs reverence.
She needs holding.
She needs her cervix to be held. She needs every tissue to be touched in a way that reminds her how sacred her tissues are.
And so when, yeah, when a woman comes in to my practice with a tilted uterus or retroverted, introverted, oftentimes I'll feel the cervix is pushed up against one of her vaginal walls and can actually feel pretty uncomfortable.
We begin the work unwinding the fascia and holding the feminine nervous system so that her womb can finally just like, boom, align. And it feels like this pulse.
And once you know the pulse of alignment and centeredness in your body from womb, heart, throat, crown,
you know when it's misaligned, you know when you're out of alignment. And that's what I mean when I say a woman, like, your womb is your compass. And for most women's wombs, yes, they are in a state of dis ease because we've forgotten, as my friend Alexandra of origin pelvic care says,
we've forgotten what original anatomy even feels like.
I didn't know that either, so I have so much compassion for it. But it's like, that's why pelvic care is essential from. For an entire arc of a woman's life.
And this is how we reorient from dopamine hits in our. Our body to oxytocin circuitry. And this is how we then know what pleasure is. And then this is how we build capacity in oxytocin circuitry which will take us through our birth experience in a much different way.
EMILY N: Okay, break that down. Like, talk about that some more.
EMILY MADEN: That's.
EMILY N: It's such a huge. That's it right there. Like, please say more.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah, so because. And this is why I am so. Like, when we did the, like, the anatomy, it's like, for me, it's. It is focused on pleasure because we don't understand again, it's like this blind spot.
It's this nameless place of like, it. Like, this is why women are in pathology, pelvic pathology because they don't know how to make love. They don't know what to request in their lovemaking.
Their partners don't know how to make love. And when we don't have access to our erotic body, our pleasure body, our oxytocin circuitry, we are in a place of tension and tension, as you know, like you're like, I experienced so much tension in my pelvic bowl.
Tension creates pathology.
And like, so when I re like, because I've gone so deep in this journey, I've looked at like every angle I've, you know, it's just like it. I keep landing in our sexuality and our a woman's relationship to her sexuality.
This will ultimately determine the arc of her womanhood journey. And we're not teaching it to women at a young age.
So your oxytocin circuitry comes from a much different place than like the dopamine hit of the clitoral orgasm, which is totally delicious. And there's nothing wrong with that.
But like I said earlier, there's this vast cosmos available to you that gets you in touch with your neuro hormone of oxytocin, which is produced as a neurotransmitter and a hormone in your body, as we know, okay?
And when we are in the place of our, our heart,
our cervix and our heart connection, our voice connection, like you're literally at the altar of the goddess, which is your body,
you are developing, you're establishing this neuro hormone circuitry of self love, self trust, self compassion. And this really is the path of awakening. Like you're truly in the seat of your body and you're just in fucking awe because you can't believe how sacred and beautiful and gorgeous you are.
And you're. They're crying tears of joy.
Yeah, this is a God bomb. And it's already available to you in your body. It's just like kind of moving through those places of tension, moving through those places of numbness or pain, right?
It we will land in this sacred place, this pleasure place.
And this oxytocin circuitry then just fuels your experience heading into birth because you're internally resourced and you know there's a trust in your body.
And when the contractions start happening,
there is a wider trust, a wider something bigger than you is happening obviously. And you're able to connect with it instead of staying in with like fear, of course, comes up.
I know you, I'm sure Emily, like your experience too, we could talk about, but for me it was the most empowering part of my birth was that I1I use, I did use my clitoris and like internal pleasure while I was getting into the phases of before transition.
And that was really important to me. I was like by myself in this room. Just like self pleasuring and then like falling asleep for a little bit and then self pleasuring because that was how I was wanted to work with the intense sensations.
EMILY N: Yeah.
EMILY MADEN: Because I had also been in the expansive and often intense sensations of a cervical orgasm.
And like the buildup to that is very intense and emotional and,
and, and really expansive as. As same with having my first experience of a G pad like a spot kind of gushing orgasm. The, the lead up and the buildup to something like that is so inherently like unleashing all of this like very primordial feminine like oomph and husba.
Right. So it's like I had been in these spaces and I was comfortable with that level of sensuality and my sexuality and, and birth as we know is such a sexual experience.
It was like so sexual. Yeah, yeah.
EMILY N: You will never have as many oxytocin receptors as you do the day you give birth.
EMILY MADEN: Amazing.
Amazing.
And so like that. So that was a really powerful moment. And then the next powerful moment was like I felt the myself want to go up and out, like stay in my head.
And if I didn't know my pelvic landscape, of course I would have just kept going up and out. But I had an incredible doula at the time. Was like Emily, you need to go down into your cervix.
Like stop trying to run away. Go down. And when I went down to the bottom of my lower feminine energies,
whoa. That's when I really started to feel some intense waves of pleasure as my cervix opened wider and then I could feel the baby's head drop and I reached in and I felt the fuzzy little head of hawk in my own vagina.
And that to me was just like this is why we do embodied an anatomy. This is why I had the hard fought wisdom of self loving and self pleasuring myself for, for many years and reclaiming that relationship with my own sensuality and sexuality as this incredible, this sacred force that yes,
I'm maybe using the language of the spirit, but in science it's our oxytocin circuitry. I was very familiar with it before I went into the birth experience, which gives you a ton of confidence and humbleness also.
And so I just think about the arc of a woman's life and like from her first period,
you know, and then maybe through her first interactions with pleasure and partner pleasure to her first birth and postpartum,
to her menopause.
What would happen if she would have a different relationship? Which is like, what you're saying. You're on the edge of a cliff, and there's so many possibilities, there's so many potentialities.
What would happen if she was guided into those places and there was names or an archetypal roadmap for her to explore all those places? What would. These transitions which our culture has deemed fucking terrible, and we don't hear any good stories about them, like, ah, menopause is a drag.
Ah, your period is a drag. Like,
birth is just crushing and terrible. And it's just like, what would happen if our relationship individually as women were different to our oxytocin rather than the constant external resourcing,
the dopamine hit.
Wow, girl.
EMILY N: I mean, you're speaking my language. That's what I'm talking about. Like, this. This whole podcast is about reclaiming those sacred rites of passage. And, you know, one of the rites of passage that I talk about the least, which it's.
This is like, it's where my focus is currently, but it is that first sexual experience,
you know, that's also a blood. Right. That's also a blood mystery. And,
yeah, I think that's also why I felt so called to have you on, because there's just. There's so much I still want to talk about.
We should probably wrap up, though. I think we're. Yeah, we're coming on time here.
Yeah. Maybe you'll come back on and grace me with your presence again, because I would actually love to also go into your birth story even more and, like, have all of that wisdom dripped in.
EMILY MADEN: Oh, you're so sweet.
EMILY N: Yeah. But is there something that you feel,
something that's present for you now, something that you're working on now that you would like to speak to, something that you would like the women out there to take away as a.
EMILY N: As a bit of your heart or.
EMILY N: Just the wisdom that you have.
EMILY MADEN: You don't need to be fixed. There's nothing to fix.
It's only like a remembrance, you know, And I think that there is often,
because we can start this work with, like, the best of intentions, and oftentimes there feels. A lot of women that I come across are, like, there feels like an urgency or like, this, I need to put myself in a closet and get myself all fixed up before I can,
like, reemerge again and hopefully get it all right. But like, and I did this too. So again, I have so much compassion for it. But, like, that is the looming,
maybe unaddressed or unfelt or unrecognized shadow of perfectionism.
And it's going to be messy, like your whole. It's going to be a bumpy ride. And that's so okay. And actually it's the part of it. And we can include all these messy parts of us so that we know center and we also know these messy parts.
And relating is messy. Learning your sexual, like, language is messy. You know, all these parts are. And it's a sacred mess. It's just like, oh, okay, I. I'm learning here, right?
We are tending to a field in a grand motherless culture. We're tending to a very expansive field. So to all the women, if you like, don't have a cervical orgasm.
There's no hierarchy here. There really isn't.
This is just some places in your body that have way more potential and connection and sentience than you have been led to believe.
And if you so choose, you can really claim these places.
And it's not about the orgasm. It's not about if your womb is in perfect position.
But we can heal and tend and soften and collaborate.
And this is an ever. It's ever in flux.
You're never going to reach some ideal that's perfect.
So that's why I also do a lot of like, child consciousness work, because that these on our way to awakening or like our womb expansion, these little parts of us can often hijack the experience and be like, especially in women, like, we need to fix, we need to be perfect before.
And once I'm there, then I'll feel okay. It's like, no, we're just including all these parts that come up on the sacred sexual path. Because that's why sacred sexuality is so wonderful.
Because true intimacy is intimacy with all these parts of yourself and also the parts of your partner.
And so this really is a journey of feeling more love. And you can be so sweet with yourself. And this, I'm speaking from someone who wanted to conquer the world of like, female sexuality.
Because that's what I do. I conquered the world of athletics, you know, and I go super hard. So I'm. I'm super humbled by my journey and what it's shown me and really what it's about.
And it's this connection with your body, goddess and God and doing that deep repair work because there's no religiosity to this. There's nothing between you and God. And whatever that means to you,
there's nothing between it. You don't need the most healed womb and the most supple tissues. Like you're exactly where you need to be.
And there's so many wise women like Emily and this Emily that are here to walk with you and be a mirror for you to continually land back in your center, which is your womb and your truest nature, your truest feminine expression, that's totally your own.
You already know where you need to go. You don't need to be told more or that you're less because you're not having some type of full body orgasm. Right?
So that's just what I wanted to share.
EMILY N: Oh my goodness. Thank you so much. That was. That was for me.
Thank you. Thank you. Would you please share where people can find you and what you have going on? Because you. I know you have a couple of different.
What do you call them? Do you call them offerings? Offerings.
Tell us about them.
EMILY MADEN: Yeah. So I always. I can work like I do. I have a pelvic integration practice here in San Diego. So that's hands on, hands in body work, ceremonial bodywork. Right. You deserve more than just like gel on the finger and then an insertion and a clinical touch.
That's not women's healthcare. That's insanity. That's an old paradigm that we need to start shifting. You deserve more than a 30 minute hour or 45 minute appointment. I work with women in that four hours at a time because it's essential.
She needs time and presence. So much can happen just in that. Right? That's how we need our lovers to be.
We cannot just continue to accept scraps from our gynecologist because that's how it is. No, it's. No. No. Right. And obstetrics, like that's not how it is. That's how it has been.
So I do that and then I have two courses coming up this year. One is Cosmic cortisone. My name's. Make me laugh.
I'm such a hippie. So this is a nine week course for women who. Even single women who want to. And who are preparing for their partner, they want to learn how to speak to maybe the.
The parts of themselves, of their. Their feminine pleasure that they haven't yet learned how to invite their partner into.
And they really want to feel the safety and devotion from their partners to their feminine ple. Pleasure to almost this nameless place of like there's potential here. I just don't know what it is.
Can you come with me? Can you take Me there.
So that is upcoming in February. I'm really excited about that and totally scared because that's big space to hold and you know, these courses or offerings always like work me in the most beautiful way.
And then I have my inaugural. Like I guess inaugural is not the right word but my foundational course which is Hammer of the Goddess and this starts in May. And it's a six month journey of everything that you need to know from our physiology,
our biology, our biochemistry, our bio structural elements, all the way to the feminine arts to emotional alchemy parts, work, pleasure work and the sacred sexual path. And that's a whole six month journey from healing our periods and holistic and Chinese medicine perspectives to support a woman's life all the way to,
yeah, sacred sexual practices with yourself to really begin to repair this relationship or awaken this relationship of oxytocin circuitry which is your birthright.
So yeah, those are my offerings. And then I will be a practicing acupuncturist at some point when I finish this freaking schoolwork.
But you can find me at Maiden M A I D E N medicine dot com. My last name is also pronounced maiden once I married my husband now. So it's so funny how life just hands you these new names.
So yeah, you can find me there and reach out to me on Instagram, the same handle Aiden medicine. And yeah, I'm just so honored, Emily, to always be able to like speak and share what I know.
And thank you for this space. And yeah, women like it's, it's all right here. You. It's not accessed by effort. It's actually like an unlearning of the way we've efforted through our life because that ultimately is the distorted masculine that's been modeled to us.
And so really birthing every time a woman comes back to full reverence of her body and like claiming her pleasure body,
that's the biggest healing work you can do. You don't need to go move mountains, you don't need to go be an activist unless you really want to. But like if that's what you're called to, but like this is the deepest calling to be completely centered in your sex, your,
your sex center. You already are the sexual superpower, the reproductive superpower. If we knew that, if all women knew that, what kind of generation we be seeding for the future?
This is how we change the world.
EMILY N: Yeah, yeah, yeah, girl.
EMILY MADEN: We wouldn't be needing partners for their physical prowess or political power or like we don't need any man like for their power. We need men for the beauty that they already like that they are.
And the feminine initiates that she is the initiator. She goes down and into the yin first, like what you're doing em, so that the king can then right and ultimately be big, energetic leader or the frame for our feminine.
Yes.
EMILY N: Yes.
EMILY N: Here is to the dream.
Here's to that. Yes. Yes. Oh my gosh. Emily, thank you so much.
So expansive in so many ways. I mean, again, I feel like we could just talk forever. I'm gonna have to get my butt into one of your courses or do something.
It's. I'm feeling the call. Awesome.
EMILY MADEN: Oh my God. I'd be so honored. And it makes me totally nervous and like kind of hot.
EMILY N: Thank you so much. I really appreciate your time today.
EMILY MADEN: Absolutely. Thank you.
EMILY N: Thank you for listening through to the end. I do hope you found good medicine in today's episode and that it encourages your own soul evolution. I have a few new offers, both in person and virtual, that I'd like to tell you about.
Beginning in January, I will host a free in person perinatal women's circle for anyone trying to conceive pregnant, pregnant or postpartum. Seeking community and support. There will be a focus on preparing for natural birth and healing from birth trauma.
Children are welcome. You can sign up via my website. I also now offer a monthly online virtual village circle for families seeking an empowering physiological conception, pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum.
It's just $10 a month or free when you purchase my online course. So you want a home birth? You can gain access by signing up via my website.
As always, I host women's circles once a month at my home in Southern Maine. All women are welcome. For details, go to my website.
I have 20 years of experience. Experience in the medicalized system. I let my nursing license expire in 2023 and now I walk with women seeking a physiological, instinctual and deeply spiritual conception, pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum journey.
I help prepare and repair for the most expansive rite of passage that women get to experience in this life lifetime. It is my greatest honor and sole mission to hold sacred space and witness women as they claim their own inner authority and power.
I am a fierce advocate and guardian of natural birth using the culmination of my life's experiences, including my own embodied wisdom when it comes to being a home birthing mother.
Nearly two decades of of experience in our healthcare system and a year long sacred birth worker mentorship with Anna the Spiritual Midwich.
I support births with or without a licensed provider present at home birth centers and the hospital.
I offer birth debriefing and integration sessions for women, their families and birth workers.
I offer therapeutic one to one sessions, individually tailored mother blessings, closing of the bones and fear and trauma release ceremonies.
If any or all of this resonates, I offer a free 30 minute discovery call.
If you have a birth story to share or if you're an embodied wise woman, witch healer, medicine woman, I am also interested in sharing your contribution to our soul evolution.
You can book in via the link in the show notes.
Thank you so much for your love and support everyone. Until next time, take really good care.
